Hard on Self, Gentle on Others

We all have a critical eye, and that’s not a bad thing. The ability to evaluate is a God-given trait intended to be used for God’s glory and for the good of people. For the Christian, his critical eye sanctified by the work of the Holy Spirit produces discernment. With discernment, the Christian can assess situations and deliver a godly response. When he exercises his critical eye apart from the Spirit’s control, his critical eye produces a display of criticism, where he is hard on others in his thoughts, word, and actions. Instead, Christians want their critical eye to be governed by gentleness, a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23). When gentleness dominates a person’s critical eye, they will be hard on self and gentle on others.

It’s popular today to think, “If you want to be gentle to others, you must be gentle to yourself first.” That may sound good, but it is an idea that lacks any biblical support and does not align with the trend of Scripture that calls us to examine ourselves (1 Corinthians 11:28; 2 Corinthians 13:5).

Consider a few times when Christians should be hard on self and gentle on others.

When They Make Decisions You Wouldn’t Make

God has clearly communicated so much of what is his clear will for us in the Bible. For example, it is God’s will for a man to provide for his family. One man may provide housing for his family by renting a home while another provides housing by purchasing a house. You may not agree with his decision, and you have very good reasons why you don’t; however, your response to his decision should be gentle.

When your wife makes a purchase you wouldn’t make, when your husband takes a driving route different than the one you would chose, when your child likes an activity that seems silly to you, when your parents do things old people do, be gentle on others and hard on self.

When They Use Words You Wouldn’t Use

I’m not talking about immoral words, perverse words, impolite words, or deceptive words. I’m talking about words that bug you when you hear them because, well, they just do. They’re not sinful. They are just different. Instead of saying, “Do you have to say that?” Be gentle on others and hard on self.

When You Wouldn’t Do It That Way

Look, we all have our preferences, and we all operate within our comfort zone. If we were islands to ourselves, your SOP would be all that mattered. But by the design of God, we live in communities of the church and the family, and in a greater sense, society. Within those communities are people who think differently than you do about the same value or issue. Your way is probably a good way, maybe even a better way, but that does not mean their way is a bad way, though it might be an inferior way. You may want it done differently, and you have good reasons for it being done differently. Others will not share your opinion. When that happens, can you be gentle with them and hard on yourself?

When Sin Enters

Because of our sinful natures, our tendency is to quickly note when others sin and to quickly dismiss or justify our own sin. Gentle on others in their sin will produce mercy, forgiveness, and godliness. Gentle on self in our sin produces callousness and damages relationships with God and others.

If we are hard on others when we believe they sin, there’s a strong probability that we will fail to move them away from the sin they commit. The hardness toward them isn’t about their offense toward God but their offense toward us. On the other hand, if we are hard on self when we sin, we run to the cross for covering, develop a sensitivity to sin that assists us in our battle with temptation, and produces in us a patience for others who sin like we do only different.

Work through your relationships – you and your boss, you and wife, you and your kids, you and your parents, you and your siblings, you and your co-workers. Can you see space where the need exists for you to be gentle on others and hard on self?

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Mike VerWay
Pastor for Preaching & Vision

Oh, No - the Sky Is Falling!

Like the rest of us in Minnesota, I woke Monday morning to the news of our impending weather for the coming day. In line with the predictions from Sunday night’s prognosticators, my Monday wakeup weatherman told me that we six-months-a-year shiverers were going to experience Mississippi sweltering in less than seven hours. The heat index would rise to nearly 100°. Oppressed by the heat and humidity, our Minnesota Nice would soon melt to Nordic Nasty. And there’s not a thing we can do about it.

The high temperature in Minneapolis / St. Paul Monday, June 29, 2020 was 82°. Most of the day the thermometer barely made it into the 70s.

Trained experts whose one job is predicting the weather missed it by this.................................................................................................much.

The weather forecasts came with the standard declarations – drink lots of water, don’t leave children or pets in hot vehicles, stay indoors, check in on the elderly and the ill, all great suggestions had there actually been a problem. Not wanting to miss out on the opportunity to scare people, our phones and smart speakers pinged the warnings of the pending heat advisory.

Alas, all for naught, but “pay attention to us on our next warning, if you please.” For those wanting to defend the prognosticators by noting weather is not predictable, you are correct, sir. Now, would you note the unpredictability of elections, pandemics, the economy, climate change, the benefits of getting an athletic scholarship or a degree from a prestigious university? “If,” “maybe,” “could,” and “should” are the sucker punch words they use to take your breath away.

Fear is a powerful motivator, maybe the most powerful motivator we can define. Fear is a lie that has been used by the devil and those without Christ to provoke humanity to all kinds of behaviors it was not previously inclined. It started in the Garden of Eden when Satan who is “more cunning than any” said to Eve, “You will not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:5-6).

Satan: Eve, if you don’t listen to me and take that yummy and beautiful piece of fruit, you won’t have all you could have, and you won’t be all you should be. You are missing out, Eve. Really, I’m serious.

Fear is a powerful control mechanism. Remember Abraham’s instruction to Sarah?

Abraham: Sarah, here’s how this is going to go down. If these Egyptians find out that you are my sister, they will kill me and take you as one of their wives. Don’t you see what will happen to us? You’ve got to say we’re brother and sister, not husband and wife. Would you do that, Sarah? For me? For us?

The last four months have highlighted the extreme power of fear to motivate and control. Fear drove many of the responses to the coronavirus. For example, government policy placed elderly people who contracted COVID-19 in senior care facilities where the disease spread to the already compromised with the result being 1129 of the 1435 deaths in Minnesota attributed to COVID-19 occurred in long-term care facilities. Fear made that policy. The examples extend to education, economics, and additional health guidelines.

Fear has driven government policy toward rioters and anarchists who have acted with brazen impunity in cities across our great country. For fear of losing political clout or of making matters worse, city and state executives allowed criminals to destroy, injure, and even kill. Fear of the mob’s response to their God-given responsibility to put down evil (Romans 13:3-4) controlled their inaction leaving them impotent.

Rarely do decisions and policies enacted from fear produce a desired outcome. Worse, for the Christian, living in fear conveys a lack of trust in the Creator who is sovereign over his creation. Knowing what we know about fear’s capacity to motivate and control, is it any wonder God tells us over and again not to fear man or creation but only to fear him? The Scripture texts seem endless. Consider two.

Psalm 118:6 The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?

and

Luke 12:6-7 Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

If we could audit our decision making and actions to determine where fear of man or the creation wrongly motivated or controlled us, I think we might be shocked to see the sheer volume of occasions. We are so impacted wrongly by fear, and it doesn’t have to be that way. Our Father who is in heaven invites us to make our anxiousness his problem (1 Peter 5:7), relieving us of fear that motivates and controls.

May God grant us the freedom that comes from fearing only him and never the creation or man.

I’ll catch you later. I need to go put on a sweater.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Mike VerWay
Pastor for Preaching & Vision

Equality Is First a Theological Discussion

In his magnum opus theologian Robert Culver picks the scab many Christians want left alone.

God’s sovereign plan includes the circumstances under which we live – poverty or riches, labor or leisure, sickness or health, bad times or good, and the circumstances in which we die…modern people with their ideas about equality are frequently out of patience with any God who sanctions social and economic classes…no aspect of this subject is sketched more sharply than that God designs some to be rich and others poor, some to lead and others to follow, some to command and others to obey, some to be prominent celebrities, others to live out energetic constructive, but plain lives in obscurity (Systematic Theology, p. 136; emphasis mine).

• Lydia was wealthy (Acts 16:40); the widow possessed only pennies (Mark 12:42).

• David was strong, handsome, and powerful (1 Samuel 16:12; 17:42); Mephibosheth was orphaned, weak, stripped of his privilege, and crippled when dropped by the nurse who carried him (2 Samuel 4).

• Tamar seduced her father-in-law for the express purpose of bearing his child (Genesis 38); Elizabeth endured decades of barrenness before conceiving John the Baptist (Luke 1:7).

The examples of inequality found in the Bible are numerous. No example is more unjust than the great illustration of Joseph. What should have been a life of comfort in a wealthy and influential patriarch’s home became a life of indentured servitude in a foreign country (Genesis 37:27-28).

Of critical importance is the fact that God did not merely allow Joseph to be sent into Egypt; rather, God sends Joseph to Egypt “through the treacherous actions of his brothers, for which they are fully responsible.” As Culver expressed, God sanctioned Joseph's social and economic status.

Yet, God’s sanction of location or era of birth, life circumstances through old age or death, or even skin color does not require remaining under the realities of those inequalities or injustices. There is nothing in the Scripture that tells us we may not escape injustice or inequality, that our fate is to accept the unchangeable lest we rebel against God.

In the grace of God and by the aid of heaven, Joseph attempted to throw off his captivity and was successful (Genesis 41). Paul did not accept unlawful detainment (Acts 22:22-30). God heard the cries of the Israelite slaves in Egypt (Exodus 2:24). Childless Hannah pleaded with God to give her too a child like her rival, the other wife of her husband (1 Samuel 1).

Where we see inequalities and injustices, we can and should vigorously pursue righteous and equitable resolutions. Where no resolution is possible, then we rest in the sovereignty of God quoting Job, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). Where inequality and injustice continue despite every righteous effort to overcome it, we trust God that his grace is sufficient to carry us through the injustice and inequality (2 Corinthians 12:9).

It doesn’t take long to identify inequality and injustice in our lives and those around us. There can be no question that some suffer far deeper and with much greater consequence than others through no fault of their own, so we must weep with those who weep, and we must bear one another’s burdens. Further, there can be no question that some enjoy far more ease and comfort than others through no attributable action of their own. With them, we rejoice.

Still the questions abound, and I would remind us that human minds cannot answer all the possible questions that arise when we examine inequalities and injustices. God’s ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are not our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). When we identify inequalities and injustices, we must begin with what God says is true and what he deems a righteous course of action. Then and only then can we move to attack the problems of injustice and inequality. Injustice and inequality are not first political or sociological; they are first theological. They are first about God.

Can anything good come from the injustices and inequalities sanctioned by God? Let him answer,

Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

and…

Genesis 50:20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about]this present result, to preserve many people alive.

and…

Acts 17:26-27 He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.

The creator is sovereign. Do not grow impatience with him over what he sanctions.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Mike VerWay
Pastor for Preaching & Vision

More on Privilege

Privilege is such a curious word and idea.

Last week I wrote, “This life I live is not the result of my white privilege. The life I live is the result of the privilege that comes from grace. I will not accept any other explanation.”

I stand by those words.

Such a statement does not deny the advantages I experience in daily life. I live privileges others do not, and I am denied some privileges others possess. The statement identifies the source for what I receive and what I am denied.

Luke records Paul’s words to the gathered at Mars Hill,

"The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist (Acts 17:24-28)."

He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things

and

(He has) determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation.

What interpretation can we conclude other than every human being everywhere lives the life they live because of privilege that comes from grace?

Every human being everywhere must affirm privilege of one form or another. Read again Paul’s words. God gives to all people all things, and God determines the time and locale of our existence. Paul’s preaching is Job’s testimony, “Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” (Job 2:10).

I cannot deny Bible narratives recording advantages some possess and others do not. I cannot deny advantages I have that others do not have. But that’s the point, no human being anywhere can deny he is privileged because every human being everywhere is privileged because he lives under grace (Lamentations 3:22).

Lest someone think erroneously, of course we oppose with zeal any who use God’s gifts to them to foster selfish ambitions (Romans 6:1-2). If we have advantages others do not, we do not consume our advantages on our own selfish lusts (James 4:3). We give out of our abundance and out of our poverty (Matthew 10:42; 2 Corinthians 8:2).

I am asserting the cause, origin, reason for anything good about my life is God’s sovereignty displayed in his grace. To attribute whatever is good in my life to my melatonin level, a design feature in every image bearer, takes me to a place where God’s character is assaulted. I can’t go there.

What my white skin grants, I say with Job, “The Lord gives.”

What my white skin obstructs, I say with Job, “The Lord takes away.”

I conclude what Job and Paul declare, “Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21).”

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Mike VerWay
Pastor for Preaching & Vision

Yes, I'm Priviledged

Let me tell you about my privilege.

I was conceived when a worldly-wise man in his mid-20s convinced an 18-year-old recent high school graduate that he loved her.

I was born into a shotgun marriage necessitated by my soon arrival in the summer of 1965. I seriously doubt my birth father ever loved my mother.

My birth father was a drunk like his father before him and like all the adult men in the Jackson clan. I’m told he wasn’t a silly drunk or a happy drunk but an angry drunk and a violent drunk. I’m told his drunken rage targeted my 19-year-old mother in brutal displays. She cried out to his family for help, but they showed more sympathy to their son than to the mother of the grandson.

We lived in squalor on Chicago’s Southside where I was born. My maternal grandparents did as much as they could to try to help my mom and me, but when the bread winner drinks away the family’s meager income, what’s left doesn’t go very far.

My birth father blew his brains out in a drunken stupor. There was no life insurance or large savings account to take care of my baby sister and me.

My mom came to faith in Christ prior to high school, but her home did not provide an environment where a young Christian girl could thrive. Somewhere during her high school years, she lost her way. I was not born into the church, had no baby dedication ceremony, and was not positioned to live an abundant life in Jesus Christ. It wasn’t looking good for my future prospects.

Through mutual friends, my mom met Tom. He was a recent convert to Christ after hearing the gospel from a local Baptist pastor. He was a simple man with an elementary school education, but hard working and deeply in love with my mom and her two children. There wasn’t anything my grease-monkey dad wouldn’t do for my mom and us. Years later on his death bed, he looked at the three of us and said, “I’m sure glad I found you guys.”

No longer Jacksons, we were now Verweys (yes, that’s the correct spelling and a story for another time) living very simply in a Southside apartment. God had stopped the madness.

I don’t know how we started going to a Baptist church as a young family, but there I heard the gospel from my Sunday School teachers and from my pastor during his Sunday sermons. God opened my mind to understand the gospel and poured into my heart faith to believe the gospel of his son, Jesus Christ. So commenced my life of privilege.

My privilege began when God stopped the madness that was my reality and my future. My story is not unique to me. Kris, Brenda, Maaike, Dan, Jeff, David, and so many more can tell of the grace of God that radically transformed their lives.

I am married to a godly Dutch girl, a first generation American and the beautiful daughter of immigrants. How our paths crossed asserts another expression of God’s grace. Apart from the mysteries of God, I would know nothing of the former Brenda Koning and she nothing of me. Our shared life might appear privileged to some, and, I suppose it is, but not because of the melatonin levels in our skin pigmentation. My privilege in whatever manifestation observers identify is solely attributed to God’s grace. To say my privilege is because of the melatonin in my skin ignores the sovereignty of God to which I owe all for this life and the life to come.

I decry racism. I decry injustice. I decry punishing the innocent because of association with the guilty. I decry the “it’s not what you know but who know” way of getting ahead in this world. I decry every expression of rebellion against the Creator manifest in the abuse, dismissal, or killing of any of his image bearers.

My life is good, certainly better than I deserve and happier than many. This life I live is not the result of my white privilege. The life I live is the result of the privilege that comes from grace. I will not accept any other explanation.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Mike VerWay
Pastor for Preaching & Vision