Yeah, I know I'm Late. Don't Judge Me, Bro.

The following LM first appeared Father's Day 2019

I watched them enter the worship service, mom and dad with kids in tow. Something wasn’t right.

Mom is as perky as they come; she has a perpetual smile. Once dad has his morning cup o’ joe, he’s the best – cheerful, gregarious, light-hearted, a servant, a good dad and husband. When they entered the room for worship, I hardly recognized the persons taking their seats 20 minutes after our worship began - shoulders drooping, kids plodding, and no happy faces. Who are these people?

“Hmm,” I thought, “I wonder what happened this morning.”

I never connected with dad following Sunday’s worship. I did chat with the kids and mom. The youngest of the three hugged my leg as his older siblings told me about their Saturday. Mom filled in the missing details – nothing about the events of the morning and why they were so late.

Worship over, the building locked and all the doors closed, Brenda and I slid into our SUV and headed to meet our kids for Father’s Day lunch. While I missed dad, Brenda found out about the late family’s Sunday morning. It was chaos that involved a running loaner vehicle, needed because of another expensive repair. I mention running vehicle because the only set of keys were locked inside the car as the family stood at its doors ready to get in.

The poor dad. I don’t know what he had in mind for Father’s Day, but I guarantee being locked out of his running loaner vehicle, arriving late for worship at his church, and trying to find a solution for how to get into the vehicle without smashing a window wasn’t in his Father’s Day fantasy.

As I listened to Brenda’s retelling of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad morning, I was reminded of how judgmental we can be.

Can’t you get here on time?

Nice of you to join us…20 minutes late.

Shameful the lack of respect. Probably stayed up too late and didn’t roll out of bed until the last minute.

Our Lord and his apostles condemn and warn disciples of Jesus about the tendency to make unrighteous judgments, yet we do it all the time. We see a behavior that doesn’t meet a standard, and we assume wrongly the reasons for the failure.

• We would never be so spiritually immature.

• We would never conduct ourselves in that manner.

• We would never allow our children to do that.

• We would never dress that way.

• We would never let our children out of the house in that condition.

• And on and on the examples go.

I am so refreshed by this young father’s commitment to lead his family on the Lord’s Day. He had a ready-made excuse to stay home, but he didn’t. He would be late. Everyone would know it. Somebody may make a snide comment to him or cast a look of disdain, but that would not keep his family from meeting with God together with his church on the Lord’s Day.

I am so encouraged by this young husband’s love for Jesus to love his wife enough to direct her to their Lord on the Lord’s Day. He didn’t let the battle against the flesh defeat him. He would love her by loving her Lord.

We have no idea what’s going on in the lives and homes of the people in our church. No idea at all. We cannot judge what we do not know. We must not assume our conclusions are on target. Instead of judging, let’s come alongside and ask questions.

You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. What’s up?

You’re not usually late like that. Did something happen at home today?

I’m glad to see you and the family this morning. How’s life? You good?

The safest place for Christians should be the gathering of the local church. Here, brothers and sisters-in-Christ should find people different in so many ways from those outside the circle of the church. Here, they should find patient, loving, kind, and empathic sinners saved by grace willing to extend to the failing the grace they’ve received and hope to receive from others. Here, they should find those who give only righteous judgements and those who speak the truth with love-glazed words and eyes.

The gathering of the church isn’t always the safest place, but it should be. The church can be the safest place when each of us recalls the extent of God’s longsuffering towards us.

s always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Summer in the Psalms

It is no secret that I love summer. Hot and humid destroys cold and biting, and it’s not even close. The long summer days in the upper Midwest are made for memories and opportunities. One opportunity is our Bible intake. Let’s spend the summer in the Psalms.

There are 150 psalms in the collection, and they can be consumed in a month in an easy way. For example, today is June 6. Today, we read five psalms beginning with Psalm 6. From there, add thirty and read Psalm 36. Then, add thirty more and read Psalm 66. Complete the days reading by heading to Psalms 96 and 126. On June 7 you begin the reading at Psalm 7 and follow the same course. In July and August when there are 31 days in the month, you will read Psalm 119 (a lengthy and the longest) on that day.

Why Read the Psalms?

• A Simple Way to Take in the Bible – If you are not a regular Bible reader, this is a simple way to become one. Many new Bible readers don’t know where to begin. The Bible is a big book which some might find intimidating. Regular reading in the psalms can develop good Bible reading habits. If you are a regular Bible reader following a specific plan, keep on with your plan. Maybe consider adding summer psalm reading for a little more Scripture saturation.
   

• A Simple Way to Read the Bible Together – If you would like your family to read the Bible and you’re not sure where to begin, summer reading in the psalms is a great way for families to read. Have one reader read a particular psalm, then move on to the next reader and the next psalm. It really isn’t that hard. If you miss a day for whatever reason, you simply pick up with the current day. So, say you’ve missed June 1-5. No problem, simply start with today’s reading, and go from there.
   

• A Great Way to Gain Encyclopedic Knowledge of God and His Works – As a kid, I devoured our family’s World Book Encyclopedias. Encyclopedias were the Internet of the 1970s. From A-Z, a young boy could satisfy his desire for knowledge. The psalms are a massive resource on the Lord and his works, giving the reader a broad knowledge base of who he is, what he has done, what he is doing, and what he purposes to do in the future. Take today’s reading for example.
   

  • In number 6, the psalmist informs and encourages God’s people that their God is close by when he writes, “The LORD will receive my prayer” (9).

  • In number 36, the reader learns of God’s steadfast love for his people when he reads, “How precious is your lovingkindness, O God!” (7).

  • In number 66, we who live in a messed-up world rest when we read, “All the earth shall worship you” (4), and we rest humbly when we read, “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the LORD will not hear. But certainly God has heard me” (17-18).

  • In number 96, the psalmist asserts, “He is coming” (13). He has come, and we await his coming again.

  • In number 126, the psalmist describes the return of the faithful from their Babylonian exile, noting “our mouth was filled with laughter” (2). And we dream of days to come when tears will be no more for God’s people as the Lord turns our “weeping” to “rejoicing” (6).

  • A bonus for those still reading – if you like animals, the psalms tell you that God does too, “O Lord, you preserve man and beast” (36:6)

The Summer Challenge

Will you read the psalms together with me and those near you? I hope so. But there’s one more step I want you to take. Will you memorize a psalm with me? Hear me out. 119:11 announces, “Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”

Before I memorized Psalm 23 as a young boy, I memorized Psalm 1. That’s the challenge to each of you, memorize word for word Psalm 1, “Blessed is the man who….” You can do it. You really can. The Lord will aid you if you make the effort. You cannot exaggerate the value of memorization of this psalm to your family, our church, and yourself.

What’s that? You’ve already memorized Psalm 1? Then the challenge to you is to memorize Psalm 2 this summer. That’s what I’m doing, and I’d love to do that with you.

So, let’s make good use of the summer days and spend them in the psalms.

s always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

"Mom, I Love Jesus Just Like You"

What is the only topping that belongs on pizza? And why is it sausage?

True Americans never put ketchup on a hot dog.

Coffee served over ice is both weird and defeats the purpose.

None of these statements can be argued by any clear-thinking person. Science hasn’t told me this. I learned this from my ancestors – my parents, grandparents, and uncles.

We cannot determine the heart affections of our children,
but we can strongly influence them.

It is likely that all of us have passions and tastes developed in us by the passions and tastes of those before us, like my affinity for a good thin crust pizza covered with Italian sausage and nothing more. I acquired the taste from eating with my teenage uncles. Of course, not every passion passes to those after us. My parents and grandparents drank hot coffee from sunup to sundown, as black as tar, my mom being the exception. She desired milk and sugar. Hot or cold, it doesn’t matter. Coffee is gross.

Christian parents and grandparents desire that their children want to follow Jesus. At least, I’d like to think they do. I certainly hope they do. As we do most everything else, we have the capacity to impact how our children think about the Lord, the thought behind Deuteronomy 6:6-9.

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Picking up from where we left off last time, here are suggestions for growing an appetite for the Lord in our children.

Five Suggestions for Growing an Appetite for Our Lord, His Word, and His Church in Our Children and Grandchildren

• Prioritize the Lord’s Day

I know I say it all the time, but there is good reason to emphasize the importance of the Sunday gatherings of the local church. When I was a kid, I recall my pastor telling the church to “be here every time the doors are open.” Truthfully, my family was in attendance Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, every night of the weeklong meetings, every night of missions conference, and throw in the New Year’s Eve service too. My sister and I are the beneficiaries of my parents’ decision to emphasize the church gathering in our family.

Our church has not heard me use the phrase “every time the doors are open,” but I am concerned about the casualness of some towards the gathering of the church on Sunday. Traveling athletic teams, spending the night at a friend’s, a part-time job, school events late Saturday night, away at the lake for the weekend, and more, keep children away from the gathering of the church far more Sundays than many realize. When events compound, it can be three or four weeks between gatherings. In the spiritual battle for the appetites of our children 10, 15, 20, or more Sundays away from the gathered church cannot be helpful.

• Fill your home with Christian Music

At our worship services, it is easy to tell the families that play Christian music in their homes and cars. They are the ones where the children sing. Christians have their own music, and they sing it when they gather. Their music teaches Bible truth, encourages sad hearts, challenges fearful soldiers, and unites Christians to each other. Homes where Christian music plays creates an appetite for the Lord who is the theme of all our songs.

Streaming services and air pods have made communal listening to music a thing of the past. No one gathers the family around the radio or spins an album on the stereo for all to share. It is not uncommon to see a family in the SUV and each child in his own world listening to his own music. I do not go so far as to say individual listening is wrong. I will say that you can aid in developing an appetite for our Lord by filling your home and car with Christian music that you listen to together.

• Share Answers to Prayer and the Requests You Make

Is God real? The question isn’t new. Pharoah raised the question to Moses, and every generation since the fall has wondered if there is a God. If there is, what is he like and what difference does his existence make to me? These are only a few of the big questions. Maybe you are still asking some of them.

When we pray, we attest to our belief of something beyond ourselves. When we pray directed by the Bible, we identify the recipient of our prayer as the triune God – Father, Son, and Spirit. Our children and grandchildren need to know that we pray to God because we desperately need him, and they do too.

You are wise to teach your children to pray, and you are wise to have your children hear you pray. How often do your children hear you pray? Do they know some of the burdens you bring to the Lord? Do they know they too can bring their burdens to the Lord? Have they heard you confess sin and ask for God’s aid? When they sin, do they know they will find mercy with the Lord? Have your children experienced answered prayer in your family? Have your rejoiced with them at what God did for your family in answer to your prayer and theirs?

God draws us to himself by his grace in answered prayer. We draw near to God by praying.

• Tell Our Stories

People who think the Bible is boring haven’t read the Bible. It is that simple. Look at the book of Joshua – river crossings, city walls crumbling, Joshua comes face to face with a man with a drawn sword, days longer than they should be, hail stones coming down from the sky taking out the enemies – all and more in just a few chapters. Bible stories are given to us for our learning. The hearing of them creates an appetite for more.

Hebrews 11 is a chapter of stories and offers that there are many more stories of God’s actions for his people than appear in the chapter. Place in your older children’s hands the stories of missionaries and the biographies of faithful Christians. There is no shortage of children’s books for grandparents to read to their grandchildren. I am convinced too many of our children have little appetite for God because they know so very little about him. We can remedy that.

• Live Christ in your home

Sadly, most of us know adults who have no appetite for God despite the fact their parents had them in church every time the doors were, and despite the fact the car radio was tuned to the local Christian radio station, and despite the reality that the kids went to Vacation Bible School and the weekly Awana night. Often, reflecting on their childhoods, the adults remember a home where the family in the church pew was very different than the family in the minivan.

Our children know us better than nearly everyone else. They see our failures, our sins, and weaknesses. We wish they didn’t. The problem is not that we continue to sin, and our children are aware. The problem is our children see no humility, no confession, and no change toward Christlikeness. What they see is open hypocrisy. On Sunday, they hear a parent say “Amen” only to hear that same parent curse later in the day. On Sunday, they listen along with their parents to the Word of God only to watch their parents disobey the very Word of God they received earlier in the week. It’s very confusing. It’s very unappealing. It has great potential to sour Jesus to our children and grandchildren.

There may be nothing more significant for developing appetite for our Lord, the Bible, and the church than humble Christianity lived out in the home by parents and grandparents.

I am sure you could add to my list. Please do. I’d value your suggestions.

You have heard me say often that there should never be a need for an evangelist to come to the home of any of my children and grandchildren. We have the gospel in our possession, and so do you. God grant us grace that the gospel never depart from our family trees. I’ll pray with you that way. I hope you’ll pray with me.

As always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

You Got Your Kid to Like Vegetables - You Win Parent of the Year

Christian parents and grandparents desire that their children want to follow Jesus. At least, I’d like to think they do. I certainly hope they do. As we do most everything else, we have the capacity to impact how our children think about the Lord.

We cannot determine the heart affections of our children,
but we can strongly influence them.

The Netherlands and Chicago Sports

Most are aware of Brenda’s Dutch heritage. She and her sister are first generation Americans. They are Wooden Shoes by birth and by attitude. At Christmas time, Dutch pastries fill our kitchen and wood shoes line the stairs waiting for Sinterklass to fill them with candy, small toys, and coins. With the arrival of grandchildren, we need more stairs for all the shoes. Don’t tell my kids. Let’s keep it between us – Brenda fills the shoes with goodies, not Sinterklass. Shhh!

As a very young boy, my passion was the Chicago Cubs. I could not get enough of Baseball cards, box scores in the newspaper, and afternoon baseball from Wrigley Field. I vividly remember listening to Chicago Blackhawks hockey games coming from my bedside radio on the AM dial. I was a Chicago Bulls fan before Michael Jordan arrived for the 1986 season, and there has never been anyone like Walter Payton, the best running back in the history of the NFL and a Chicago Bear.

My children have never lived for one minute anywhere near the city of Chicago, the place where I was born. Of the four, only Jeffery has visited the Netherlands. So, would you explain to me the enthusiasm for Dutch heritage and would you explain to me the obsession with Chicago sports teams shared by all four of our children? They all love the Bears, Blackhawks, Bulls, and Cubs. During the most recent World Cup soccer tournament, the Dutch and US teams took the pitch against each other in the round of 16. Only one of us cheered for the USA.

My sports passions became our children’s sports passions. Brenda’s love for her Dutch heritage has expanded to our children. When Michael was very young and the Cubs were very bad, he asked his mom, “Mom, why do we have to be Cubs fans?” Brenda told him that he doesn’t have to be a Cubs fan. He can be a fan of any team he wants. He dropped his head and mourned, “I’ve tried, but I can’t. I just can’t.”

I’d guess there are similar stories in your family. Your children like roller coasters because you do. Your children like coffee because you do. Your children like a style of music because you do. Your children like horses or airplanes or running in the sprinkler because you introduced them. Your children like a particular dessert, vegetable, make of automobile, recreational activity, or something else, and their affection for the thing grew out of your affection for the thing.

Your Loves and Your Child’s Loves

We cannot determine the heart affections of our children, but we can strongly influence them. Do you believe that? Do you believe that what you love they are more likely to love? The influence extends to a love for our Lord. If you love our Lord, your children are in a most advantageous position to love him too. If you love his word, your children are in a position to love his word too. If you love his church, your children are well positioned also to love his church. Your influence will play a significant role, not the only role, but a significant one in their affection for our Lord, his word, and his church. The Bible says so.

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates (Deuteronomy 6:6-9).

Moses instructed the people to make the air of the house the person of the Lord because this is the best way to grow the children’s affections for the Lord. A house that smells of Jesus is a house likely to produce hearts that are faithful to Jesus.

So, what would that look like in your house? Let’s answer that question next week.

As always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Pomp and Circumstance

Next week marks forty years since my classmates and I graduated from high school, May 1983. Could there be a more serious marker that one is old than knowing the Israelites wandered the wilderness in the same amount of time that you’ve been out of high school? Dude, you’re almost eligible for Social Security.

I attended a small Christian school in Chicago’s south suburbs and was a member of its tenth graduating class. At 26 students, our class was the largest in the school’s history. Most of my closest friends were in that class, and a few of us had been together since third grade, the first year the school opened. The 1960s, 70s, and 80s were the era of Christian Education as churches everywhere recoiled from the doctrine of relativism born from the teaching of evolution in our nation’s schools.

Oak Forest Christian Academy was the vision of our pastor, Bill Schroeder, and a ministry of my home church, the Oak Forest Baptist Temple (formerly the Calvary Baptist Church of Oak Forest, Illinois). Recently, the school closed its doors after 50 years of training children from Christian families. My classmates and fellow alumni live around the world and hold positions across a wide range of career fields. Many of us remain faithful to the Lord Jesus Christ. Some have left following the Lord.

While I have lost track of many, I know a little about a few of my classmates. Some are teachers in elementary, secondary, and college schools. At least two were police officers. Not long after high school graduation, one served on the Secret Service for then President Ronald Reagan. Two of my closest friends are pastors. Among us, there are homemakers and career professionals. Some of my peers have retired. A handful still live in the Chicago area. Many have relocated. I have not seen most of them since the summer of 1983. All of us look at our class picture and remember days long since passed.

As I grow older and see how life works, there are many questions I wish I could ask my mom and dad. I’d like to know what prompted them to send my sister and me to our church’s school. My SAHM would have been about 26 years old and my dad a hard-working mechanic at a local garage when they enrolled me in the third grade at OFCA.

In the first and second grades, I attended Balmoral Elementary School with the other neighborhood kids. We rode the bus. The driver picked us up at the end of the driveway. My teachers were older women who taught me to love reading and by the grey in their hair, I assume were grandmothers. I still remember their names. They instructed me in reading, writing, and arithmetic. One of them taught me how to know north, south, east, and west – a valuable lesson I use to this day. I sang in the school’s children’s choir and had speaking roles in our school programs. We chased the girls at recess and were occasionally scolded when we crossed the line. I remember nothing of evolution, and no one’s name changed from one day to the next as we learned of their new pronouns. The summer before third grade brought change.

We lived a distance from the church building in Oak Forest, Illinois. I still recall the long rides to and from school that replaced my short bus commutes the year before. Before, my mom waved goodbye in the morning sun and welcomed me just in time to catch some afternoon baseball from Wrigley Field broadcast on Channel 9. Now, we rolled out of the driveway before the sun came up, and in the winter drudged back into the house long after the sun had set. So, proximity didn’t play a part in their decision.

I suspect the decision was driven more by my mom than by my dad. In our early childhood, my dad was still trying to figure out his role towards his wife’s kids. My guess is my mom heard Pastor Schroeder announce the school’s opening, and my mom wanted something for her kids she hoped the school would provide. I think she got her wish. But there was a steep price to pay, literally. Somehow, they managed to enroll us in the fall of 1974, footing our tuition bill. They purchased the school uniforms we were required to wear – red, white, and blue dresses, skirts, blouses and bows for the girls; the same color plaid pants, dress shirts, and ties for the boys – we were The Patriots after all. And they got us to and from school without benefit of a big, yellow bus. The financial burden did not dissuade them.

So, that’s a lot of words to express that I really do not know the reasons my parents chose to secure for us a Christian education, but I am very thankful they did.

For any opportunities I may have missed by not attending a local elementary school and later, a large government high school, I received benefits at OFCA I could not have received had I been a Bengal from Oak Forest High School instead of a Patriot from Oak Forest Christian Academy.

• A high percentage of the Scripture I have memorized came from assignments in school Bible classes.

• Daily chapel messages grounded me in a biblical worldview I embrace to this day.

• I maintain decades long friendships with Christian men that began when I was a young boy.

• Multiple staff members, mostly young Christian men, mentored me in and out of the classrooms and on and off the court and field.

• And best of all, at my Christian school, I first laid eyes on Brenda Koning, the Christian girl who now fills my days with wonder as my wife.

Parents make daily decisions of marginal significance in the lives of their children – fries or apple slices in the Happy Meal. Periodically, parents make decisions of monumental significance in the lives of their children – how the children should receive an education. We make the great decisions guided by the Word of God (Psalm 119:105), resisting the strong pull to rely heavily upon our own wisdom to determine the matter (Proverbs 3:5-6). The decision made, we trust the Lord for the outcome, making course adjustments as he leads us along.

Looking back through my reading glasses, I really did enjoy my high school years. I thank the Lord for my teachers. To this day, I love my peers. I am humbled by the sacrifice my parents made to educate me.

To the class of 1983 – all 26 of us – God bless you until we meet again when we are with the Lord.

s always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.