#NeverPain

Maybe you’ve read the small, 93-page book that took the Christian community by storm back at the turn of the millennium. Since 2000,The Prayer of Jabez has sold more than 10 million copies, a huge number in the publishing world.

Tucked away in a lengthy genealogy of hard to say names are these words by a Jew named Jabez, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” (1 Chronicles 4:9-10).

The book and the wave it produced prompted people from here to there to ask God to bless them and enlarge their territories, that is, their influence, opportunities, and holdings. In the preface author Bruce Wilkinson writes, “I want to teach you how to pray a daring prayer that God always answers. It is brief — only one sentence with four parts…but I believe it contains the key to a life of extraordinary favor with God… In fact, thousands of believers who are applying its truths are seeing miracles happen on a regular basis.” There aresignificant problems with Wilkinson’s interpretation of the prayer but what about the last line of the prayer, “that I may not cause pain”? Do we pray this enough?

We live in a world of intense pain. Sadly, some pain Christians experience comes from those who should be the last to inflict such harm. Onlookers have accused Christians of “eating their own,” “kicking him while he’s down,” and “friendly fire.” As Christians we never want to be the cause of another believer’s pain, but it’s all too easy. As proactive deterent to self-inflicted wounds, let’s pray, “Lord, prevent me from causing pain to another.”

In My Words

Painful words can escape our mouths or be the product of our fingers. Over the last few weeks I’ve read emails, social media posts, and text messages that make me cringe at the writer’s words. How could she not know the pain that would come because of hastily tapped out words? How could he not know that comment would leave the reader devastated? I’ve listened to communication between family members and shuddered at the harshness, the vulgarity, the threats, the sarcasm, or the complete insensitivity to the damage the words would do to the hearer. But these were not posts or phrases from unbelievers who have little capacity to do anything but hurt with their words. These expressions came from Christians! “Oh, Lord, grant that I do not cause pain in my words, especially toward other Christians.”

In My Neglect

A deep pain emerges from neglect. “He doesn’t…” “She won’t…” “Why can’t they just…” “My dad never…” A word of thanks not offered. A hug denied. An apology withheld. These and more examples occur again and again, day after day in our homes, relationships, and churches. Indwelt by the Holy Spirit, we Christians have everything we need to be vessels of good to other human beings as instruments of God. When we refrain from doing what is good to or for those who could benefit from our words and efforts, we sting the very people already in distress. Neglect says, “I don’t care about you,” an attitude that leaves a mark. “Oh, Lord, grant that I do not cause pain by neglect, especially toward other Christians.”

In My Actions

There’s a reason we use the phrase, “a helping hand” because our hands are a principle way we act when giving aid to another. Yet, some hands bring great pain when they strike, steal, or supply the route for addictive behaviors. What could be tools to bless become weapons to destroy. “Oh, Lord, grant that I do not cause pain by neglect, especially toward other Christians."

Most won’t argue the pain in the world and the pain closer to home. The curse means pain will be a part of our lives until we are with the Lord. However, the fact of pain doesn’t mean I have to be a contributing partner. In the words of Jabez, “Oh, Lord, grant that I may not cause pain.”

As always, I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

What Do We with The Kids? Help for Your Small Group

Committing to a small group for the purpose of developing and living out Christian community is no light decision, but the possibilities for maturing as a disciple of Jesus Christ and sharing in the maturing of others far outweigh the many challenges. The most often sighted challenge is what to do with children while parents attend a weekly small group meeting. Here are some suggestions. By the way, if children aren’t a concern for you, please keep reading. At minimum, you’ll be able to offer counsel to young parents and maybe even help.

1. Use the built in care of older siblings. Being the oldest kid has its perks – for example, acting like a CEO when mom and dad aren’t around. One night a week for a couple of hours ask your older child or children to help you and your spouse grow in your Christianity by watching their little brother or sister. When you get home, remember to heap praise and thanks for the service and tell the older child what good things God did for you and the group while she was supporting your Christian growth.
2. Use extended family who live in the area, like grandparents or aunts and uncles. If you happen to live close to relatives, take the kiddos over to grandma’s house or ask auntie to come to yours. They love your kids and want time with them. Like the suggestion above, remember to convey how much you appreciate your family member’s support of your moving toward Christlikeness. If the family member providing childcare is not a believer, maybe watching your children will provide an occasion for a gospel conversation around the inevitable question, “What are you doing every week when go to this meeting?”
3. Rotate childcare responsibilities among group members.Eevery fourth, fifth, or sixth week, one couple serves the others by caring for the children. If your group has families with a lot of kids, maybe the kids come to the hostess’ home where someone in the group supervises children while the rest of the group meets. 
4. Offer to provide care for a small group that meets at a different time. Small groups in our church meet many different times during the week. Consider taking initiative with a young family in our church. Ask, “What do you do with the kids when your small group meets on Monday nights? If you get in a bind, give me a call. I’d like to help if I can.” Further, not every person in our church can be a part of a group. Some logistical matter prevents participation, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help others be a part of their small group. Providing child care could be a way to help.
5. Students in the church can serve others in the body by offering to babysit children as a ministry. We’ve got some great kids in our student group. Many of them would happily take the opportunity to serve you by caring for your children a few hours one night each week. By the way, we are teaching our students to serve without expectation of compensation. Just serve and leave the rewarding of the service to our Lord. 
6. Pool together to hire childcare while using the church facilities.A group with a lot of children could pitch in a few dollars per kid and pay some hungry college student to watch them for a couple of hours. Using the church building with its nursery, playground, and huge open field makes sense.
7. Hire a babysitter. When all else fails, pay someone to watch your kids at your home. This happens all the time in the American culture when parents want or need to be away from the house. It will cost you a little money, but meeting with your group is so important to your group and to you, you are willing to invest a little money to make it happen. You pay for a babysitter for an occasional date night; it’s make sense to pay for a sitter to foster your Christian growth.

Our world is not simple. Christianity is not convenient. We are not consumers looking for the easiest, least expensive, or best deal. We are Christian disciples trying to become like Christ and help other followers of Jesus do the same. Let's not allow a really great gift from God, our children, hinder us from the greatest pursuit -

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Happy Days Are Here Again, the First Day of School

7/6/2016

By now most of our students have returned to school. Depending on your point of view, returning to school is a good thing or something else. For many moms, this day couldn’t come soon enough. These sweet women have endured, “I’m hungry,” “I’m bored,” “There’s nothing to do,” and “She hit me first,” for three long months. The madness has ended for at least seven hours of the day. No one is more thankful for a school teacher than a frazzled mother.

Moms are not the only ones excited about the beginning of the school year. Teachers who imagined over the summer new ways to explore an idea and who readied their classrooms for the students’ arrivals cheerfully welcome the new boys and girls into their worlds of wonder. Twelfth graders say the word they’ve been longing to say since freshman year, “Seniors!” They mistakenly think the word gives them rights and privileges heretofore unknown, privileges reserved only for those who have endured the low life of an underclassman. First graders and freshman experience similar emotions – some anticipation and a lot of fear. Both emotions will pass. Most other students in all other grades respond the same to the school year starting, “Nooooooooooooooooooo!”

From my limited world travels, the United States offers educational opportunities not found in most other parts of the world. Every child in America gets to go to school. While our educational system is flawed and needs serious repair, still, any boy or girl in our land is free to learn to his mind’s content. He need not spend a portion of the day working the land and thus unable to attend school. He need not be from a privileged family or bare the right color skin. He gets to go to school because he’s a kid in our country. Most of us received this kind of education. Some of us were able to pursue more education beyond K-12. To grow up in America is to grow up with the gift of education.

Jesus taught the principle “opportunity elevates expectation.” He said, For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more(Luke 12:48). Educational opportunities fall under this principle.

On this first day of school for many of our students, here are a few responses to consider.

Be Thankful

You went to school and gained from that experience. You learned reading, writing, and arithmetic and so much more. If your education wasn’t all that terrific, then be thankful for the teacher(s) who influenced you so much and whom you remember so fondly. If you didn’t have loving, kind, or exciting teachers, be thankful for the friends you made along the way. Some were friends for time, some have been friends for life, and some, whom you haven’t seen since graduation day, you will see again in eternity. If you are in school presently or your school years are way behind, if your children or grandchildren are in school, or if your community’s classes began today, pause now to thank God for the education available to you and to so many others. Maybe over the next few days send a note to a teacher who influenced your life (you can send a Facebook message, but a real, handwritten note will mean the world to her).

Work Hard

What student hasn’t said or thought, “When will I ever use this again?” While usually offered in complaint, not all pieces of knowledge have equal application years down the road. Only for a few is the periodic table of daily value, and knowing the rules that govern the use of commas may be important to English teachers, but does it really matter if one uses all the comma rules in texts messages or tweets? (All you English teachers settle down. I know how important commas are in your life. I will do my best to keep proper comma uses intact in my writings, especially when I text or tweet).

Learning the periodic table, proper hand positioning on a keyboard, postulates and theorems that make the discipline of geometry work, and the many wives of Henry VIII is hard work. The greater value in this study may be gaining the necessary skill to diligently pursue an understanding of the subject despite the effort to do so. Our lives are not exempt from hard work now that school days have passed us by. In fact, many would eagerly trade the “hard work” that was Chemistry 101 for the “hard work” that greets you every Monday morning.

If you are a current student in school, work hard at your task. This is God’s will for you. If your school days have passed you by, work hard at mothering or fathering, work hard for your employer, work hard around your home, work hard in your ministries in our church, and work hard in your service to others. This will please the Lord.

Keep Learning

Most have heard of “professional students,” people who just can’t seem to leave school, get a job, and accept responsibility. To keep learning is not a call to stay in school until the administration tells you no more classes remain for you. To keep learning is to exercise the skills you used last year or twenty years ago. Abandon the idea that you are not a reader. You can read. It’s why they gave you a diploma. Read more or read again. Read your Bible. Read the classics of English literature. Read books that will help your spiritual life. Read Christian blogs. Open your mind to new ideas by reading. Learn more about your God, about your Savior and about His bride, the church. Do not be satisfied with your pastor’s preaching. Crave more and then go satisfy that craving by immersing yourself in the knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Happy days are here again, the school year is under way. My prayers are with our students, their teachers, our local public schools, private schools we support, our home school families, and with you.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.