First Lesson From the Empty Nest

The empty nest life is nice. For the nearly 30 years of our marriage, Brenda and I have shared a house with another human being. From our sisters, to a brother by another mother, and our children, we’ve lived our married life for all but a handful of months with other people. While I can’t tell you all the crazy fun things about the early days of living together all alone, here’s one thing we’ve discovered: call your mother.

She Doesn’t Want to Bother You

Since August, we’ve thought it and I’ve heard more than one mother of adult sons or daughters say about their kids, “They’re so busy.” What that means is she doesn’t want to bother you. She knows you have a lot going on with your own kids, with work responsibilities, taking care of your house or pets, or getting school work done. She knows your time is limited. Now that you’re gone, she’s learning to fill the time she used to spend on you. But filling that time doesn’t make up for the lack of day-to-day contact with you. Help a girl out, and give her call. She doesn’t want to bother you.

She Wants to Know about Your Life

When you call, she’s more interested in knowing about you than telling you what’s happening in her life. Think about it, for years who knew more about your life than mom? That may not be true for everybody, but for most of us it is. She knew what you ate for breakfast and dinner. She knew what time you left the house and if you snuck out at night. She listened when you told her the good things about the day and the hard things too. For a long time she sang the same songs with you during worship and listened to the same text from the Word of God as your family’s pastor preached to you. She knew when you had a cold, when you needed new shoes, and if you had a crush on girl. She’d still like to know those things.

If she’s a godly mom, she’s been praying about many matters concerning you since before you were born. She hasn’t stopped since you left home. During the day if she’s home alone or if there’s a quiet moment at work, she’s probably thinking about you and likely talking to God about you. When she hears from you, she knows better how to pray for you, and she rejoices at God’s answers to her prayers for you.

Not My Kids

If you’re one of my kids, this isn’t some passive-aggressive way to get you to call your mom. If you’re not one of my kids, please don’t think my kids are cold-hearted freeloaders who don’t care anymore about their mom. We’ve got great kids who continue to make us important. Life is different now, however, and your mom is not as likely to initiate with you because life circumstances have changed. So, give her a call. Respond to her weird-to-you texts. Facetime with her. Send her an email. Drop a card in the mail. You will make her day, you’ll be glad you made the effort, and you will please the Lord by giving honor to your mom (Eph. 6:2).

If you think about it, call your dad too.

As always I welcome your feedback and any ideas you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Shots Fired

Like you, I awoke Monday morning to the news out of Las Vegas. You know the details, nearly 60 dead and more than 500 hundred injured when a 64-year-old gunman opened fire on a crowd of concert goers. We weep with those who weep.

Predictably, some will make the tragedy political. Others will address psychological concerns. A few will draw outrageous conclusions that should be immediately dismissed for what they are.

As Christians, we recognize the base problem here is the depravity of man. While shocked by what happened, is any of us really surprised that a human being is capable of such an act? Page after page of human history tell the stories of how cruel one human being can be to another.

How it must cause our creator to sorrow at what his creation does to each other. He didn’t create us for this. The intent in the beginning was a planet populated with beautiful, image-bearing creatures who loved their creator and loved each other. The brokenness of the creation is most evident in the creation’s hate for its creator and its evil directed toward other image-bearers.

In response to the attack, famous people and everyday nobodies say, tweet, or post a similar phrase, “This must stop!” I can agree with that, and it is what I pray for. But I know how this story plays out. There won’t be a full stop until King Jesus sets up his throne. Then he will bring peace to the nations and to every individual heart. There will be no more mass shootings; no truck bombs on Paris or London streets; no IEDs in Boston or Madrid; no stabbings in Manilla; no beheadings on the African continent; and no shootings in the streets of Chicago. Jesus will end this.

We can respond like any human being with a conscience, but as Christians we can respond beyond what any person can respond. In the midst of our sorrow for those ravaged by a devilish human being, we offer any aid we can. As Christians, we do more; we pray and labor in the gospel. We pray for our Lord’s soon return (Rev. 22:20), and we work to make ready all around us for his return (1 Thess. 5:3-4; 2 Pet. 3:10; Rev. 16:15). This is how we Christians respond.

May God’s grace be with the men and women, boys and girls impacted by the harm in Las Vegas.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

No, I Won't Watch It

Content comment: before reading further, I’d like you to know today’s Musing covers a current R-rated movie without using R-rated words. If you’d prefer not to read, I understand.

The runaway success It is no Abbott and Costello Meet the MummyVariety magazine describes It as “the blockbuster adaptation of Stephen King’s novel about a child-eating clown.”

Movie goers like It…a lot. In less than three weeks, the two hour fifteen minute film about a clown who eats kids brought in almost a half-billion dollars worldwide, making it the highest grossing horror film of all time. You read that correctly, and here at home, Americans shelled out almost $266,000,000 to watch, in part, children being eaten.

In an age of child worship and an age of the illusion of protecting the kids, It makes no sense to me. Further, I no more understand Christians finding amusement in It than I find Christians finding amusement in Game of Thrones.

A Little Background

From Variety: "It is a 1986 horror novel by American author Stephen King. It was his 22nd book and 18th novel written under his own name. The story follows the experiences of seven children as they are terrorized by a being that exploits the fears and phobias of its victims to disguise itself while hunting its prey. 'It' primarily appears in the form of a clown to attract its preferred prey of young children."

But “It” doesn’t merely “attract” its prey; “It,” as IMDb describes, hunts children. Am I the only one who has a problem with this? This isn’t Freddy Krueger or Michael Myers (dumb horror fillms of the 80s); the killer in It stalks children.

Disgusting, Graphic Violence

In the opening scene “It” entices a small boy to reach into the sewer drain to retrieve his boat and then graphically bites off his arm, leaving the boy to bleed to death in the gutter. Later in the movie, “It” takes the form of flying leeches that swarm a boy sucking blood from his body. When the child collapses, “It” drags the child away and feeds on him.

From the New York Daily News official review: “It’s a lot more uncomfortable to see children die off on screen than it is to read in the pages of a book — particularly the visual of watching a six-year-old's arm being devoured.”

There’s more, but that’s enough description to make my point – what is entertaining about the cannibalism of children?

Fictional horror remains debatable ground for the Christian. Does it matter if we watch or read stories where imaginary characters both harm and are harmed? That is the subject for another time. The purpose of this Musing is not to address the morality of Hitchcock or Poe or King. The purpose of this post is to call out the theme of this specific movie, to help your growing discernment in your entertainment choices, and to alert your mind to the point of grieving for the fallen condition of our fellow human beings.

The movie critic from the Chicago Sun-Times completely ignores the obvious when he writes, “I’m bloody pleased to report director Andy Muschietti’s R-rated interpretation of the source material is a bold, intense, beautifully paced, wickedly hilarious, seriously scary and gorgeously terrifying period-piece work that instantly takes its place among the most impressively twisted horror movies of our time.”

Well, I’m bloody pleased to report this movie and the book that vomited “It” up is a bold offense to the God of heaven who created children in his image. He never intended for the pinnacle of his creation to find enjoyment in the bloody murders of young image bearers.

Frankly, It is not a movie for the Christian. I hope you will avoid It, and I hope you will instruct your teenage daughters and sons who lack the maturity to discern and are intrigued by It’s popularity or are pressured by their friends.

Antagonists will argue, “Well, the Bible tells about child sacrifices and other horrible actions done to children, so…" but not for entertainment! The biblical accounts of these behaviors portray the depravity, villainy, and wickedness of man apart from God. We cringe when we read these accounts unlike those who leave the theatre and tell social media friends, “You have got to see ItIt’s great!”

No, It isn’t.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Speak Kindly to Her

You probably don’t read the Song of Solomon very much, the Old Testament poem that flows with love and romance. While authors express different opinions on the meaning of the text, this much is certain: the man in the story speaks kindly to his wife.

As the years pass, the tone and vocabulary of young love often changes. Not too long ago, compliments and courtesy were predictable communication to her. Now the bride of some years rarely hears thanks for her actions, gentle instruction when she assists with a household task or garage job, thoughtful engagement in a conversation she initiates, or sweet words complimenting her eyes, her hair, her dress, or her character.

Too often the man she loves speaks to her like she is his mom, his sister, or his daughter. He speaks to her with disrespect like he spoke to his mother when he was a teenage boy. He speaks to her with disdain like so many brothers when disgusted with their sisters. He speaks to her with anger like a father speaks to his daughter when irritated by her clothes, her friends, her spending, her driving, or simply for being female.

A man’s words carry the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21).
A man’s words can turn away his own wrath or stir it up (Proverbs 15:1).
A man’s words can infuse health or suck the breath out of the lungs (Proverbs 12:18).

She’s your wife not your mom. Speak kindly to her.
She’s your wife not your sister. Speak kindly to her.
She’s your wife not your daughter. Speak kindly to her.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

 

$20, the Price of a 4-Wheeler

Last week my friend John and I competed in a fishing tournament in Hayward, Wisconsin. That's John holding a top-ten size fish he caught the opening morning of the three-day competition. The story that follows is one I've told before, but I love the story so much and the truth it illustrates, I want to share it again.

 

From 2014...

When someone tries to give you $20, you take it, right? Not my friend John. Last week, John and I entered the 16th Annual Lake Chippewa Musky Hunt, a three-day fishing tournament for really big fish. As part of the event, there are several opportunities to win door prizes, everything from fishing rods and reels to gift cards, food, and clothing. At the closing ceremonies, each of the 200 entrants has a shot at winning the grand prize, a Polaris four-wheeler, by having his name drawn from a jar.

Early in the evening and as a door prize, John won a Musky Hunt logo vest, but the extra-large size was two sizes too big, and well, John’s personality wasn’t all that interested in the vest.

John thanked the hosts for the door prize and made his way back to his seat, chirping along the way that he had no use for it. I told him to sell it, that some guy at the event would gladly pay him for it. Just then another fisherman approached John and offered a twenty-dollar bill for the vest. John refused the money, instead, handing the vest to the man for free. The would be buyer offered his money again, and, again, John refused. In the end, the stranger walked away with both his $20 and a new vest.

To be clear, had John accepted the money that would have been fine to do. Simple and honest business transactions do not displease the Lord, but John views money and stuff a little differently than so many others.

Meet My Friend John

John came to Christ in college after a mostly gospel-less upbringing. I met John in Midland, Michigan, and have known him for more than twenty years and for the majority of his Christian life. He’s just a guy in the church, one of many, working Monday to Friday as a chemical engineer.

In his ongoing sanctification John is one of the most generous men I’ve ever known. John loaned his new van to a friend to go on vacation while his own infant son was close to death. He’s given cars to Christian school teachers, all the meat from a deer hunt to a needy family, and access to his land to hunt from deer stands and property he works to maintain. Only God knows how much money he’s given to the support of his local church, to missionaries, to poor families, and to so many others. Giving away the vest instead of taking the money was completely consistent with the pattern of John’s life. But there’s more to the story after John gave away his vest.

The Grand Prize

The tournament awards prizes to the top ten finishers, with the first place fisherman winning a $2000 Cabela’s gift card, but that’s not the big prize. The four-wheeler is the big prize and is the last event of the evening. Each contestant has an entry number he carries over year after year. John is number 50. I am number 51. A few years ago, number 52 won the grand prize. We were oh so close!

The MC of the event really builds up the grand prize giveaway. Every year she reaches in and pulls out the winning ticket, teasing the audience with her announcement. Last Saturday night she called out, “The winning number is less than 100.” She then said, “It’s less than 60.” John looked at me and I at him with huge grins on our faces, two school boys holding out hope that one of us was the winner.

She then said, “It’s higher than 49.” We had goose bumps. Then she called my number, “It’s lower than 51.” That wasn’t what I wanted to her, but it meant my friend won. “Number 50!” she cried. John and I jumped and hugged. Immediately the thought came to mind, “John gave away $20, and God gave him a four-wheeler.”

Not Prosperity Gospel

I reject and hate what is called the prosperity gospel. It is an unbiblical belief that says financial blessing is the will of God for Christians, and if Christians will “sow the seed” of a monetary gift, then God will open the windows of heaven, pouring out on the giver much more money than he gave away. It was the doctrine of Oral Roberts and is the doctrine of Kenneth Copeland, Creflo Dollar, Benny Hinn, Joyce Meyers, Joel Osteen, Paula White, and many others. It is heretical, unbiblical, and predatory teaching. God never promises to make anybody wealthy if they will give what they have. When the poor widow gave her mites, she remained a poor widow (Mark 12:41-44).

Yet the Bible has much to say about giving away our money or possessions with the expectation of blessing. For example Jesus said, Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you (Luke 6:37-38). What was Jesus promising? Not financial riches. Jesus was promising the blessing of God on generous people in whatever way the wisdom of God distributes His blessings, but there is no promise of more money, more health, or more affluence.

To be sure God owes a debt to no man. As wisdom says, He who has pity on the poor lends to the Lord, and He will pay back what he has given (Proverbs 19:17), and He who has a generous eye will be blessed, for he gives of his bread to the poor (Proverbs 22:9). When we are generous, God gives back to us in whatever manner He thinks best. Generosity is a godly trait that God’s people should develop. It should be on display in our tithes and offerings, in our assistance of needy people, and whenever we have the opportunity to do good.

Have you noticed how miserable stingy people are? Have you observed that generous people are joyful people? Making a tight fist around your money and your stuff can wear you out just like making a tight fist around a rope will wear you down. Stop clinching your hand around your money and your stuff. Sure, you’ll keep your money and your stuff, but you will miss out on the greater blessing of God.

I am convinced God poured into the lap of a generous Christian man a great gift. John exchanged a twenty-dollar bill for a four-wheeler. The difference is John didn’t know ahead of time he was doing this nor was that his motivation. He was just being generous because that’s what Christians are. They are generous just as their God is generous. John never thought, “Maybe if I give this guy my vest, God will give me a four-wheeler.” That’s a version of the prosperity gospel. The Christian gospel is Freely you have received. Freely give (Matthew 10:8).

You’re So Lucky!

Do you believe in luck? Nearly all of us say flippant things like, “You’re so lucky” or “If it weren't for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.” Again, do you believe in luck? I do not. I believe in a sovereign God who’s “got the whole world in his hands.” When John won, somebody said to me, “He’s so lucky!” No, He. Is. Not. Luck had nothing to do with it. God had everything to do with it.

I believe every verse in the Bible. So when James writes, Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father (1:17), I believe that. John’s winning of the four-wheeler was a gift from God to John.

I do not know if God would have given John the four-wheeler had John not given away his vest. Here’s what I do know – John lives a generous life, demonstrated once again when he refused the $20 and gave away his vest, and God liberally gave to a generous man a great gift.

John opened his hand allowing another to have what was in it. God put into his open hand something John never expected.

Why Not Me?

Admittedly, I wish the MC would have called out, “Number 51” handing me the keys to the four-wheeler. Like John, I too would have yelled out, “Praise the Lord.” But I am glad God didn’t give it to me. Instead, God gave to me a much greater gift. He gave to me the most powerful example I’ve ever witnessed of Christian generosity and God’s giving back to one of His own. I witnessed give, and it shall be given to you. God taught me in high definition it is more blessed to give than to receive.

My Expectation

John and I have fished in this tournament for the last seven years. Until two years ago John proposed a deal – If either of us won the four-wheeler, then we would sell it and split the proceeds. Though John lives on a hobby farm, he declared he had absolutely no use for a four-wheeler. I disagreed with his opinion, but John can be…strong willed.

A year ago John changed his tune and began to tell me how he would use the four-wheeler were he to win it. Our years’ long deal was off.

Now John has his four-wheeler, and he will use it like he’s dreamed of using it, but I guarantee that will not be its only use if John stays true to form. When he becomes aware that he can serve somebody else with the use of his new toy, he will. Should he discover that his four-wheeler can benefit somebody else, he will gladly lend it to him. Should the Lord take it away from John, I expect John to quote Job, The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Then I expect God to pour into the lap of His generous servant a greater gift.

Christian friend, be generous and remember God loves a cheerful giver.

As always I welcome your feedback and any ideas you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.