Pastors are people too. We laugh. We smile. We like happy times. We cry. Our faces droop. We are not exempt from tough times.
Who is the pastor to a pastor when he grieves? Who is the pastor to the pastor’s family when life hurts from loss, injury, sorrow, pain, or death? In the local church, the pastors join the first responders at the hospital, in the nursing home, at the kitchen table, and at the emergency scene, providing calm, compassion, sympathy, hope, a voice leading in prayers to God, and aid. But when the pastor or his family is the victim, who is the first responder to him and them?
A pastor stands in his front yard watching his house burn to the ground.
A pastor, well past the age of retirement of the other men in the church, must return to the ministry he left because his successor, feeling the pressure of the load, was unable to fulfill the role with integrity.
A pastor discovers his wife has engaged in adultery with a colleague from another ministry. The relationship has been ongoing for years without discovery. The shame the pastor feels is more than he can bear.
A pastor holds his weeping bride. This pregnancy lasted four months, the longest she’s carried a child, but like her previous pregnancies, this one too did not reach delivery.
A pastor receives a phone call from the Dean of Students at his alma mater, a Christian college. They have expelled his daughter for serious infractions of the student covenant.
A pastor must relocate his family because, try as he might, he could not overcome the internal challenges of the church he serves.
A pastor sits at the bedside of a woman dying from brain cancer. He’s been in situations like this before, but this is different. This woman is his wife.
A pastor receives a phone call from his mom on a random Wednesday morning. His dad collapsed on the basketball court. Though his best days are behind him, dad still enjoys the game. The EMTs are doing CPR, but it’s not looking good. He was probably gone when he hit the ground.
A pastor weeps because his only daughter is getting divorced after a few months of an abusive marriage.
A pastor has seen the signs for the last six months. His wife repeats stories and asks the same questions. On a few occasions, she’s wandered around the parking lot looking for her car. Twice, she could not remember how to get home. She’s not yet 60-years-old. The phone call from the doctor suggests some new treatments to slow early onset dementia.
Each example has roots in the lives of men I know. I could tell you a dozen more. Some of the stories are exactly what happened while others are pieces of true tales without details to conceal identity.
Of course, church members experience most of these situations too. When church members suffer, they are wise to call their pastor. Their pastor is God’s gift to them to shepherd them in times of trouble (Acts 20:28-29; 1 Peter 5:2-4).
When a pastor suffers whom does he call? He probably calls other pastor friends or maybe a pastor with whom he served in some kind of assistant capacity. While helpful, these men are not likely close by and cannot be physically present at the moment. Plus, those pastors have churches of their own, to which they are giving pastoral care.
So, where does a pastor in crises go when he needs pastoral care?
Some churches have a large pastoral staff, a few even have a pastor whose role is to be the pastor to the pastors. But those models are exceptions to the norm. In most scenarios, the people our Lord intends to care for a pastor and his family is the local church of which the pastor is a member. In times of trouble, the church cares for their pastor in ways he would care for them.
Paul writes this was his experience. The Philippian church met Paul’s physical needs during his suffering in Rome (Philippians 4:10-20). In other letters, Paul instructed the readers to remember their elders when times are hard (Titus 3:2-15, et al).
There are many evidences of a healthy church body. One is how the church comes to the spiritual and physical aid of its pastors when the troubles of life come their way.
I am thankful to serve a healthy church.
As always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.