Here to Help With Your Last Minute Christmas Shopping from a Pastor's Point of View

"I'm just not much of a reader."

I'm sure you've heard it before. Maybe you've offered the phrase yourself. But in an age of growing smartphone use, that self-estimation isn't going to cut it much longer. Smartphones are about images and words. We read from them and write on them over and again throughout any given day. Because of your smartphone, you likely are more of a reader and writer than you think you are.

Here are the facts:

• 80% of American men and 75% of American women own a smartphone.

• 94% of the Gen Z and Millennial generations own a smartphone while 89% of older Millennials and those up to age 49 own a smartphone.

• Even retirees embrace smartphones at nearly 50%.

Can we agree the excuse, "I'm not much of a reader," is no longer a valid statement for you and others like you?

Let me connect this to Christmas and the time you're spending right now not buying that last minute gift. You've got one week left to purchase a gift for that hard to buy for family member or friend, how about a book?

You can get recommendations on a wide range of subjects from teachers and the internet. Here are a few from a pastor.

For middle school, high school, and college age guys: Thoughts for Young Men by J.C. Ryle. In a handful of chapters, Ryle exposes the four temptations young dudes face: laziness, lust, loving pleasure, and peer pressure. More than exposing the problems, he shows the way out.

If you want to gift a study Bible, I have been using the Zondervan Study Bible for about two years. Without exaggeration, this tool is like having a whole library of Bible helps on every page. It is outstanding.

Only time will tell if a newly published book will stand the test of time. If I were to speculate, I'd anticipate Kevin DeYoung's The Hole in Our Holiness to rise to that level. In less than 150 pages, DeYoung will help you in your maturing Christian Life. As a bonus to all you Vikings' fans, Kirk Cousins endorsed this book!

I am surprised how many Christians have neither read nor heard of John Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress. If you give one book as a gift or read one book in the coming year, this is the book. Be sure to read both parts one and two. I actually enjoy part two over part one, but you have to read part one to understand part two. I read this book every other year because it's good for my soul.

You have to read Elisabeth Elliot. Begin with Through the Gates of Splendor, the story of her husband's death along with the deaths of four other missionaries in the jungles of Ecuador. At the time of her husband's martyrdom, Elisabeth was 29-years-old and the mother of a 10-month-old girl. When you've finished her first-hand account of the events leading up to the massacre, read more from her. Her writing produced helps for the whole church, but especially for the girls and women of the church, help we desperately need.

If none of these recommendations fits your gift list, hit me up with a question, and I'll make a suggestion.

I don't recall the first time I heard him say it nor do I know if the quote was original to him, but I was very young when I heard my pastor, Bill Schroeder, say the two influences that will most significantly impact your life are "the people you meet and the books you read." I think he had that right.

• God has given you a good mind, so read.

• God has given us good authors, so read.

• God has given us a wide variety of interests and no shortage of authors on our favorite subjects, so read.

• God's method of revelation of himself to the church is a book, the Bible, so read.

Happy last minute shopping, and thank the Lord for ebooks and two-day shipping on those online book orders.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

About Those Church Business Meetings

It’s December, so we can expect in our churches…

• The most awesome performance of Away in Manger by the cutest 2-3 year-olds.

• Flexing our lungs as we sing the Gloria from Angels We Have Heard on High.

• Reading from Matthew and Luke the record of the birth of Jesus of Nazareth.

• Sermons from our pastors connecting the babe in the manger to the savior on his cross.

• Annual meetings where we address the budget of the church and the elected officers in the church.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

For our church my hope is our annual meeting contributes to our unity as we come together to discuss the future and our commitment to the ministry of Jesus in the year to come. Money is a part of that future, and the safest place to talk about money should be a local church where Jesus Christ is Lord.

Money conversations in the church can be hard. Like time, money is finite resource. Like time, we spend money only once and then it is gone. Like time, we are responsible to God for our stewardship of the money we possess. Like our use of time, our use of money is subject to opinions within the church.

Which ministry gets more money? Which ministry can be successful with less money? Which maintenance project must take place this year? Which maintenance project can be put off for another year or so? How do we address the needs of staff members within the legitimate constraints and limitations of our resources? What do we set aside for future needs and unanticipated expenses?

In the wisdom of God he has chosen to fund local churches through the generous giving of God’s people. While he could have provided for every church a money tree the church cared for and cultivated on its property, he has not. Instead, he desires the church to reflect his generosity (2 Corinthians 9) in their own giving. We look like God who gave sacrificially and cheerfully in the giving of his son when we give sacrificially and cheerfully to support the work of the local church of which we are members.

The money conversation at the annual meeting in our churches is much more than a discussion about how to spend our money. The money conversation becomes a conversation about what part each of us will play in the provision of the money the church proposes to spend. You work hard to acquire your money, and you want to see your money used of the Lord to fulfill eternal purposes.

There is no shortage of organizations to which you can give away your money. You give it to the work of your local church because you are a member of that church who believes in the mission of the church and its pursuit in following the leadership of Jesus.

Over the decades and centuries of congregational meetings, less than Christlike communication raised the decibel level in the place normally reserved for worship. I suppose there were times when the emotion rightly fell under the banner of “righteous indignation,” but I suspect more often than not the divisive banter was a failure to be of the same mind in Christ and to esteem others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:1-5).

Maybe it would be helpful for us to read Philippians 2:1-11 or 1 Corinthians 13 before we meet to discuss the business of the church.

We are not a social club nor a local non-profit, we are the church of Jesus Christ, and our business meetings should reflect the personality and character of our leader, Jesus Christ.

I hope we Christians can approach our annual meetings with a prayerful disposition that builds the unity of the church, that honors the name of Jesus, and that causes all of us to leave the meeting happy to have been together with our church family.

We better because in just a few days we will sing together, O come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

What Was That That We Just Sang?

Last Sunday morning’s worship was different. You noticed, right?

I have pastoral friends who insist that the worship for Sunday morning not be the same two weeks in a row. They don’t mean different songs or Bible texts; they mean a wholly different worship order. As a matter of preference, I desire more structure.

For us, only rarely will our worship pattern surprise us. When you settle in at 10:30 each Sunday morning, you know the routine – call to worship, private prayer, congregational singing, pastoral prayer, offering, more congregational singing, sermon, and response. Sunday after Sunday that’s how we approach God, and it’s a good way to approach Him.

Maybe the biggest change to our worship comes during the Christmas season when we sing hymns and songs that we do not sing at any other time of the year, as we did last Sunday morning. That can be a problem.

Because we are not familiar with the seasonal text or tune, our singing can become less than inspiring. Let’s face it; some of these Christmas songs are hard to sing. Who besides a hungry newborn has the lungs to sing the Gloria in Angels We Have Heard on High? Or how difficult to sing is that first line in It Came Upon a Midnight Clear?

But we do sing them anyway because that’s what we are supposed to do at Christmas time.

Maybe we should think a little differently about Christmas singing.

Christmas hymns serve us by teaching us amazingly deep doctrine. Think of a line from a favorite Christmas hymn, and it likely contains a doctrinal truth critical for Christianity.

From O Holy Night, “Long lay the world in sin and error” teaches the depraved condition of humanity.

In Angels from the Realms of Glory we sing, “God with man is now residing” and proclaim the incomprehensible, the full deity and complete humanity of Jesus Christ.

The text of We Three Kings tells of “sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying” in anticipation of the cross.

A challenge with some really good Christmas hymns is actually singing them. The tune is just difficult for American voices in 2018. If the tunes are challenging and the texts unfamiliar, why sing Christmas hymns in public worship? Here are some answers.

Christmas hymns offer unique worship opportunities. Charles Wesley penned the words Come Thou Long Expected Jesus in 1744 as he pondered Haggai 2:7 and considered the plight of his fellow Brits from orphans to outcasts. In two brief stanzas he connects Israel’s promised Messiah and the promise of Christ’s second coming. The thought of Christ’s return when he will right all wrongs might inspire worship in your heart. You might even find yourself worshipping by singing a Christmas hymn.

Christmas hymns offer unique evangelistic opportunities. In our pluralistic society, the overt declaration of the person of Jesus Christ through the texts of Christmas hymns makes me giddy. I love to hear Christmas hymns in our schools, at public events, while walking through the mall, and on normally secular radio stations. Places that prohibit “solicitation” by gospel workers unapologetically sing the gospel.

When unsaved family and friends are in your home or car, Christmas hymns in the background may open a door for a gospel conversation. Stopping at the mall rotunda to listen to community choir can lead to discussions about Jesus. “Did you hear the line of that song? Do you know what it means?” may lead you to a chat you’ve been praying for and anticipating for some time.

Christmas hymns offer unique learning opportunities. As a general practice, I hope you have Christian hymns playing in your home and car as a matter of habit. If children romp around your house or when you share in your grandchildren’s world, I hope you play Christian music. During the season, play and sing Christmas hymns, not just Frosty, Jingle Bells, or I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.

Did you know the Christmas hymn Once in Royal David’s City was authored by a pastor’s wife as a way to teach the church children Bible doctrine? The use of Christmas hymns to teach your children great Christian truths will pay dividends far beyond the investment of playing the tune over and again. When they are old, they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

In only a matter of weeks, we will put the Christmas decorations away until this time next year. While I won’t miss the garland, I will miss the Christmas hymns. I suspect you will too. Let’s make the most of the music during the brief time we have them.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Thankful

When my mom said, “Son, what do you say?” that usually meant I’d received a gift that I didn’t really want from a person I didn’t know or didn’t want to kiss or to kiss me. There are lines a boy doesn’t want to cross, and orange lips cross the line.

On the other hand, my mom never had to remind me to thank my grandfather or my uncles. They always got it right when it came to picking out the right gifts. It must be intuitive from man to man. We just know what other males want for gifts. More than that we know what other males DO NOT want for gifts – sweaters, socks, cologne…We can pick these things out ourselves, but I digress.

We celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday. I suppose you will enjoy food and family like Brenda and I will. You may even have occasion to speak up at the dinner table to express thanks for something in your life.

According to the New Testament, believers live a life that makes every day Thanksgiving Day.

Thankfulness is one of the outstanding marks of a follower of Jesus Christ. The Apostle Paul makes a big deal about being thankful. In nearly every one of his New Testament books, he expresses thanks to God, or he encourages his readers to do the same.

Believers are thankful because thankfulness reflects the change of heart that takes place at salvation.

Prior to salvation human beings are independent and selfish. They believe that what they have they worked for. A good test grade results from good study habits. A promotion at work comes after months or years of diligent service to an unruly boss and an unappreciative company. Children who are not an embarrassment to the family became that because of the rigidity and drive of parents. Whatever is good about us is good because we did it. It’s purely American thinking and purely pagan.

Further, human beings think that was is given to them is owed to them because of who they are. My mom is supposed to feed me because I am here son. My dad is supposed to buy my clothes because I am his son. My daughter is supposed to do the dishes because I am her dad. My friend is supposed to return my calls or texts because I’m his friend, and on and on.

The change of heart that takes place at salvation alters our very beings so that where we were independent we are now dependent, and where we were selfish we are not selfless.

A follower of Jesus Christ recognizes his dependence on his Lord for salvation. The result is that he recognizes his dependence on his Lord for everything else. Good grades are the gift of God by way of a good mind and the influence of the Holy Spirit to be disciplined. A promotion at work is the gift of God by way of a strong body, overall good health, contentment with the employer, and a disposition monitored and molded by the Holy Spirit.

The Christian recognizes dependence in all things because he knows dependence in the main thing – his salvation.

A follower of Jesus Christ looks outside of himself not inward at himself. He sees people as those whom he can serve and not as those who exist to serve him. The mirror is not his favorite piece of household accessories, but the kitchen sink, the laundry room, or the garbage can is. He serves because he’s thankful that Christ served him on the cross.

“Son, what do you say?” My answer, “Thank you, Father, for everything!”

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

No Longer Parents to Those Kind of Kids

For half of our marriage, we’ve been parents of teenagers. Prior to the 1920s nobody used that word to describe the years 13-19. We’ve been using it in our family since 2004. Those years end today as our youngest enters his 20s, a decade full of amazing opportunities he can only image. Happy birthday, Jeffery.

I feel for parents whose past or current experiences with teenage sons and daughters bring pain or who wish for the years to be over soon. While our years of parenting teens were not without drama, tears, conflict, and challenges, they were not horrible for us. In fact, the years of being parents to teens have been as enjoyable as, and maybe more enjoyable than, the years of toddling and cuddling were before.

Simply, we loved being parents of teens, and hope you do too.

They were busy years to be sure. Everyday always had somebody going somewhere. At 13 the family calendar starts to fill with youth group, sports, band, theatre, part-time jobs, and friends. Before one of them starts driving, the parents become Uber drivers without the tips – unless you count, “Love you, mom,” as the minivan door slides closed and off she goes to meet her friends.

The teen years are expensive as any parent will testify. Braces and blue jeans, Nikes and kneepads, instruments and smartphones, phone bills, music lessons, summer camps, youth activities, used cars, car insurance, curling irons and hair straighteners all cost more than parents imagine.

With teenage sons and daughters, conversations deepen. Meaningful exchanges about politics, romance, worldview, morality, betrayal, loyalty, justice, and commitment to Jesus Christ take the place of chatter about dolls and trucks, stuffed animals and make believe.

As an aside, I cannot explain why 13 to 19-year-olds desire to pursue these talks at 11:30pm at the foot of parents’ beds. But weary eyes in the morning are worth the talks that expose their hearts and bind hearts together.

It is humbling to see in teen sons and daughters the weaknesses of dad and mom. Honestly, we rode them harder than we should have when we observed our flaws on display in them. We could have handled that better, first by addressing the problems in ourselves.

As Brenda and I have reflected over the last few months in anticipation of this day, we pass along some thoughts to consider.

There is blessing from consistent parenting when children are little. More than strict or loose parenting style, consistency is key. It’s hard, I know. For a variety of reasons, some days you just don’t feel like doing this anymore, or least, give me a one-hour break and a little “me time.” Whatever behaviors you command, attitudes you exalt, expectations you mention, stay after it hour by hour, day by day.

The training of littles will pay dividends you will appreciate in teen years. Of course, if you neglect consistent, purposeful parenting, you will see the impact of that also in the teen years.

Momentary inconveniences and relationship struggles are worth the effort to overcome them. As children mature, their problems become more complex requiring additional time and effort to address. Some of our challenges were with a 13-year-old and others with an 18 or 19-year-old. It is unlikely the difficulties will be at convenient times. Your careful exercise of biblical wisdom, not merely circumstance modification, is critical.

Some moments will lead to relationship struggles between you and your teen. You must remain the Christian adult in the situation, working toward reconciliation and teaching in your reaction to circumstances how to respond to relationship struggles that await your son or daughter.

Allow for controlled errors in judgement. Not all mistakes are the same, and some mistakes provide key moments for guidance. Your teen will spend money foolishly, is likely to make a friendship you question, and may put off an academic assignment to his detriment. They will dent your cars and make bad decisions about hair styles and clothing choices. Do not ride them over mistakes. Show them how to recover. Help them recover.

The weight of Scripture is critical. We are stewards of God’s authority in the lives of our children. “Because I said so,” is the wrong answer. The right answer is “Because God says.” Allow the Word of God to be the heavy when sinful attitudes and behaviors surface and when immaturity slips out. Introduce God into daily circumstances by calling your teen to submit to what God says. Our wisdom is not enough. God’s is.

Keep on parenting. Now is not the time to stop parenting. I get it. Sometimes they talk back. Sometimes you have no answers for their arguments. Sometimes they do what they want to do despite the wisdom you offer to them. Combined they add up to the thought, “He’s 18 now. He has to live his own life.” 18 is just some random number. So is 21 and 30. Do not stop parenting. Keep giving counsel. Keep calling to Christlikeness. Keep asking probing questions. Talk, talk, talk, and talk some more. Never give up being their parent. You’re the only one God has commissioned for the job.

You don’t have all the answers, and you won’t have time, wisdom, and spiritual maturity to teach everything you should. This has been one of my greatest revelations about my limitations in parenting.

As I look at each of our children, there is so much I didn’t do correctly, wish I would have done sooner, or didn’t know I was supposed to do. I remember the conversation with Brenda one night in particular where I felt like a parenting failure.

As I looked at my fully grown child, all I could see was what still needed to be done, but the time had passed. In the quietness of our bedroom, I cried before Brenda and expressed my failures to do more than what I had done. Her wise counsel prevailed. “We better pray,” and we did.

While all of us are equipped uniquely by God to parent the children he has entrusted to us, none of us is equipped completely to parent the children entrusted to us. We need God.

Our limitations force us to cry out to God to change what we cannot change, to develop what we cannot develop, to incite love for God that we cannot demand, and to grow trust in God that we cannot manufacture.

Our parenting of children has come to an end. Our parenting of daughters and sons has not. May God take them from here and make them what we could not for the glory of his name and for the good of people.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.