Solomon had it right thousands of years ago when he penned, “Avoiding strife is an honor for a person, but any fool will quarrel” (Proverbs 20:3, NASB). Not every social media post requires your attention, and fewer require your interaction. Within the real relationships of marriage, family, church, and friends, we do well to choose not to fight.
Think of the energy and time we would save by choosing not to fight and not to get involved in a dispute. There is only so much bandwidth available to each of us. It’s foolish to engage in petty conflicts that drain discretionary resources and negatively impact relationships.
I wonder how much better marriages could be if spouses would choose not to quarrel. Who cares if your wife parks her vehicle in the wrong part of the driveway, leaves your vehicle low on gas, or stuffs tissues in the door handle where she has also deposited her Chapstick?
What difference does it make that your husband doesn’t remember your friend’s name and the story you told him about your friend’s dishwasher that only cleans on two settings between the hours of 7:00 – 11:00?
I suspect in the course of Christian marriages there are far fewer occasions that necessitate a fight than the number of quarrels we actually engage.
I wonder how much better parent / child relationships would be if the generations would choose not to fight. Why battle with your three-year-old who spins like a top walking behind you in the grocery aisle? Why engage your teenage son who randomly chooses to part his hair differently while adding some product for reasons none of us can comprehend? Why have the last word with an elderly parent who may not recall what was said tomorrow or the next day?
I suspect in the minivans, SUVs, and houses of Christian families there is honor awaiting those who will avoid strife, the kind that accomplishes nothing of value, damages relationships, and does not please our Lord.
Matthew Henry offers great counsel and don’t scroll past his words. You’ll be glad you paused to read them.
Men think it is their wisdom to engage in quarrels; whereas it is the greatest folly that can be. He thinks himself a wise man that is quick in resenting affronts, that stands upon every nicety of honor and right, and will not abate an ace of either, that prescribes, and imposes, and gives law, to everybody; but he that thus meddles is a fool, and creates a great deal of needless vexation to himself.
As always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.